Explosive Teen Anger Could Be Depression or Drug Use Related
By Cary Quashen
It’s a common occurrence. We open our morning newspapers
or turn on the television or radio to find yet another violent
episode in which teens are perpetrators of brutal and senseless
actions. Frequently there is no explanation other than a deeply
rooted anger had taken over the teen.
Anger is often regarded as negative; we're taught that it's all
right to express anxiety, depression, or other emotions, but not
to express anger. As a result, we don't learn how to handle it
or channel it constructively. It is often how anger is expressed,
and that expression of anger can become destructive. There are
a number of reasons for explosive anger in teens. Sometimes
anger is used as a form of control, sometimes anger is a form
of manipulation, sometimes anger is a sign of depression, and
sometimes anger is fear and sadness. Families in crisis know
all too well that a teen's anger has an effect on all of those
around him or her. The issue is whether the anger is normal or
extreme.
We know a tantrum is quite common for a two year old, but is
not normal for a second grader or a teenager. Teens need to
learn how to identify and manage their anger. Parents often
become afraid of their angry teens.
Anger is what we call a cover-up emotion, a sign that says
something is wrong. However, the real problem is always
underneath. It takes a tremendous amount of energy and
determination to deal positively with a teenager who is acting
out such angry behavior.
Physical or verbal abuse at home, alcohol or drug problems in
the family, divorce or loss of a loved one, economic distress,
learning disabilities, or physical illness could be the root of a
teen’s anger.
It's easy to recognize anger when a teenager is yelling and
physically threatening another person. But teens express their
anger in a variety of other ways. In fact, many behaviors that
we consider stereotypical of teenagers can be manifestations
of anger.
Symptoms of Outwardly Directed Anger
• Yelling and screaming.
• Throwing objects
• Hitting (either objects or people).
• Driving too fast.
Symptoms of Inwardly Directed Anger
• Lack of eye contact during conversations.
• Mumbling, instead of speaking clearly.
• Lack of interest in any activities.
• Generally sullen disposition.
• Alcohol or drug use.
No one knows for sure when a teenager's anger could become
dangerous to themselves or others.
The following signs indicate that a teen may need professional attention:
• Raging behavior, in which the teen is uncontrollable.
• Consistent explosions of temper, even short-lived, at the
slightest provocation.
• Drastic changes in a teen's behavior—from sullen to
unnaturally energetic, or from extremely energetic to
sullen.
• Physically hanging back from the group on a constant
basis, never participating in activities.
• Consistently blaming life for treating him unfairly.
• Cruelty to any animal.
• Any behavior that causes an adult or others in a group to
become afraid or uncomfortable around the teenager.
Teach your teen to deal with anger. Help them recognize anger
and what to do about It.
• Teach them to recognize that anger comes from feelings
of hurt or shame and try to identify the source of those
feelings.
• Help them to learn to identify "trigger thoughts" that
bring on angry feelings.
• Help them imagine scenes in which one can respond to
a "trigger thought" with a positive thought, feeling, or
comment.
• Help them recognize that other people are free to make
their own choices—whether good ones or bad—and the
teen has the ability to choose how to respond.
• Encourage them to listen to music (with headphones on)
and dance with some anger-inspired energy.
• Encourage them to write it down in any form - poetry or a
journal, for example.
• Encourage them to draw it - scribble, doodle or sketch
your angry feelings using strong color or lines.
• Encourage them to play a sport or work out. You'll be
amazed at how physical activity helps to work the anger
out.
• Teach them to meditate or practice deep breathing. This
one works best if they do it regularly, not when they
are actually having a meltdown. It's more of a stress
management technique and will help them use self-
control and not blow a fuse when they are mad.
• Encourage them to talk about their feelings with someone
they trust. Many times, other feelings like fear or sadness
lie beneath the anger. Talking about these feelings can
help.
• Teach them to distract themselves so they can get you’re
their mind past what's bugging them. Watch television,
read or go to the movies instead of stewing for hours
about something.
Sometimes, just knowing that a parent or an adult does care,
and is available to really listen and willing to treat them as the
honorable person they long to be, is enough to save a teen's
future.
If you believe your teen has a problem with anger, it is
your job to help them develop positive conflict resolution
techniques. Parents who teach anger-management strategies
and encourage non-aggressive conflict-resolution techniques
early on may find the teenage years less challenging. If your
child has long-lasting feelings of anger or is unable to adopt
coping strategies, seek medical assistance and treatment.
Cary Quashen is the founder and president of the Action Family
Foundation, Action Parent & Teen Support Group Programs and
Action Family Counseling Drug and Alcohol Treatment Centers
for adolescents and adults. He has worked with at-risk teens
the past 30 years. And is nationally recognized drug treatment
expert.